Insights 10: Speak Less, Understand More

Thoughtful quotations:

“Most people do not listen to understand, they listen to respond” Steven Covey

“You're short on ears and long on mouth.” John Wayne

True listening is a radical act, you risk being changed” Juanita Brown

“There's a lot of difference between listening and hearing” G. K. Chesterton

Context for reflection:

I’m guilty! Many leaders in business are extraverted, which can lead to a listening challenge. As Covey suggests, all too often people listen with a view to respond. As such listening stops after the first or second sentence, as the “listener’s” brain has had enough and now considers a response.

Listening is an art. It is an active process. Stop thinking Response! For many listening is the act of not speaking whilst somebody else is. True listening implies being able to summarise and ask clarifying questions to understand before responding. Hearing implies an in depth understanding including the intent and emotion attached to the message.  

Strong leaders allow their team to express views on an issue. When all have been heard, the leader questions to understand fully and reserves comments for the end of the discussion. If you want the trust, confidence and commitment of your team, then listening to understand is critical. Listening is one of our most productive tools most often discounted, with the excuse that we don’t have time. 

A question for you:

• How do you show that you have heard a message?

• How much airtime do you occupy in team meetings? 

• Can you summarise and ask three clarifying questions before responding?

Drafted in all humility as I continue my journey of discovery. It is indeed challenging, with so much to remember and learn.

Andrew Pons

References:

Urban, H, Life’s Greatest Lessons, First Edition, Fireside, 2003

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